Dear Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week restrooms:
In my six seasons of covering this bi-annual fashion affair, I've seen designers and trends come and go, the tents where fashion shows are held be transformed and countless other changes. But what hasn't changed is you -- and you really need to.
It's supposed to be Fashion Week, and you're anything but fashionable. Instead, you're stuffy, smelly, sticky and way too small. Why do I have to practically be a contortionist to even fit in the stall?
I realize Fashion Week is temporary, and that you're a temporary structure. Let's be honest, we both know you're really just a trailer hooked up to a tent with toilets that operate like those found on trains or planes. But you make me want to dash down the block to the nearest Starbuck's to use its facilities instead.
The other day, I tried to get out of the stall but my door was stuck. I tried to nudge it with my shoulder and almost whacked another woman in the head as she was trying to maneuver her way to the sink. I had to stay in the stall until she had washed her hands so we could both exit uninjured.
And then there's the lack of hooks on the door, meaning women are left with no place to hang coats, bags and the other bevy of belongings they tote around during Fashion Week. Grossed out at the thought of placing all my belongings on the restroom floor, my parents, now restless with my restroom laments, actually rigged up a hanger into an "S" shape and wrapped it with electrical tape for reinforcement. I slip the twisted hanger over the door and -- voila! -- instant hook (pictured at right).
Your attempt at class also amuses me. I noticed on the sink a reed fragrance diffuser, complete with glass bottle with designs on it. We can't have hooks in stalls but can have something that looks as if it's straight off the shelves of Pier 1 Imports? In any case, I don't think your hip air freshener is working; I heard two women the other day debating about which restroom to use based on which one they predicted would smell the least repulsive.
I was encouraged last season when Cottonelle set up a restroom mobile a few blocks away from Lincoln Center. I even received a VIP pass that would permit me to cut the line if I had, let's just call it, a personal emergency. And if I tweeted about my experience and used the #LetsTalkBums hashtag -- even better!
But I was held captive to fashion and was unable to break away from the tents and walk a few blocks to check out this restroom on wheels. And that's how things remain for me this season; I'm crunched for time and like a stagnant relationship you're convenient so I keep relying on you. But if you could at least take these points of concern into consideration, I'd greatly appreciate it.
A concerned patron