If Mike Wallace won't heed the advice of his Super Bowl winning head coach and report to the Steelers training camp, then perhaps the parodistic protestations of Pittsburgh Dad -- that world-weary Western Pennsylvania everyman who doesn't mince words -- will get his attention:
"Git tah work!"
Pittsburgh Dad -- played by actor Curt Wootton, and partly based on his own dad and relatives of co-creator Chris Preksta -- became a bona fide YouTube sensation in Pittsburgh and among 'Burgh expats aroud the world over the past year.
"He" was at Steelers practice at Saint Vincent College on Sunday to film an interview with Steelers head coach, Mike Tomlin. That's expected to appear on the Pittsburgh Dad YouTube site some time soon.
In the meantime, Pittsburgh Dad had plenty to say about what he saw at training camp, including fisticuffs between Ike Taylor and Antonio Brown, Todd Haley's new offense and parental advice to Brett Kiesel and Big Ben.
Google Language Tools doesn't have a Pittsburghese section, but the translator (yours truly) is a fellow native speaker, so its okel dokel.
(Of course, you can always listen to the interview here, which is a lot funnier)
Q: First things first 'Dad' - when you see a fight like that during [practice] …
PITTSBURGH DAD: Oh -- I love it! That means the team is workin' hard -- that means you can 'spect good things on the football field this year.
Q: You wouldn't correct them? Or tell 'em to cool it?
PITTSBURGH DAD: No. No. They gotta keep goin' with 'at. That's the kinda energy I want every single play on the field, during the course of the season.
Q: What would you say to Mike Wallace?
PITTSBURGH DAD: Mike Wallace? I says git tah work! This team needs ya! Quit jerkin' arahnd abaht a contract and git ta work -- I don't wanna hear abaht it! I wan'chas to go flylin' dahn the field scorin' 80-yard touchdahn bombs!
Q: What's your impression of the new Todd Haley offense?
PITTSBURGH DAD: Far as I can see it’s a good offense 'n' I'm tahred ah everyone complainin' 'baht Arians! I'm the first to say I always complained abaht Arians but now we got Todd Haley - 'sperienced guy, head coach last year - I think you kin 'spect good things! I think Ben's gonna throw for over 45-hunnert yards! Running backs run for twenny-plus touchdahns each!
Q: Brett Kiesel missed a preseason game because he became a dad again ...
PITTSBURGH DAD: OH! -- Why don't he come tah my hahse? Let 'em hang aht with my kids. That'll make him rethink havin' kids. And I can't believe Ben's havin' a kid! Don't anyone learn? I put all that stuff aht there tryin' to tell people -- warn people abaht bein' a dad. You got a football game to play! Can't be worried 'baht yer kids!
Q: Finally -- all the guys that have left the team -- James Farrior, Hines Ward …