Would you rather ... ?
You remember this game. The one came up during college parties and typically pitted two unappealing options against each other in subjects ranging from disgusting dares, to pain thresholds to amorous pursuits -- like some kind of a verbal Fear Factor.
"Would you rather eat a bowl full of maggots or raw intestines?"
"Would you rather get punched by Brock Lesnar or Kimbo Slice?"
"Would you rather 'date' Snooki or Deena?
For Steelers fans, arguably the ultimate possible "would you rather" scenario will play out at 3 p.m. Sunday: Would you rather New England or Baltimore advances to (and possibly wins) Super Bowl XLVI in Indianapolis next month?
In other words: are you gonna pull for the Steelers most bitter divisional foe, the team that Pittsburgh gets into two or three "Roadhouse" style barfights a year with; or the team that has most consistently tortured the Steelers in high stakes games over the past decade, the outfit that cheated and essentially got away with it, yet sets the standard for sycophantic media treatment in all of sports.
These are your options. And no, you can't root for a blimp accident over the stadium.
I asked this of exactly thriteen friends and family members and to a man, every single one of them said they'd back Baltimore and it wasn't even a discussion, such is their disdain for Bill Belichick, Tom Brady and Bostonians in general. Seven of them were in attendence of the 2004 AFC Championship game, and bitterness over that game will never, ever go away.
However, trolling Facebook and Twitter shortly after the Ravens clinched a trip to Foxboro, it seemed that the overwhelming majority of Steelers fans discussing the subject could not bear the thought of backing Baltimore.
So, let's get the obvious out of the way. You can't stand Brady. You think Belichick a.k.a. Emperor Palpatine is a cheater, and that Ray Lewis should be in a penitentiary. You'd like to punch Terrelle Suggs in the mush. This much we know.
The Steelers lost to Baltimore twice, so if they advance to the Super Bowl then you can say 'Well, this was this their year," chalk it up to that, then look forward to pounding Baltimore twice next year when they're in the midst of a Super Bowl hangover. Plus it gives the AFC North even more cred.
Conversely, the Steelers dominated the Patriots earlier this season so if they go on to the Super Bowl -- and win it -- you can take some shallow solace in that fact. (those around in the 1980's will remember that one of the brighter spots of that decade for the Steelers was their issuing the 1984 San Francisco 49ers their lone defeat of an 18-1 Super Bowl championship season).
Speaking of San Francisco, this brings up another issue. If the Niners advance to Super Bowl XLVI then they'll have a shot of winning their sixth Super Bowl, and tying the Steelers' supremacy in that department. If this troubles you, then you'll be forced to back Baltimore or preferably New England (they'd seem to have a much better chance at vanquishing San Francisco). Not to mention that a Baltimore-San Francisco matchup would have an insufferable amount of Harbaugh brothers hype.
But if Brady makes it to the Super Bowl, he'll have a shot at his fourth ring, something only two other quarterbacks -- Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw -- have accomplished. What's more, if he wins the Super Bowl, he will almost certainly be annointed as the greatest quarterback of all time. He'll deserve it too. But that doesn't mean that a part of you won't die every time you hear it said.
On the positive side ... Lousaka Polite (Woodland Hills & Pitt) and Ross Ventrone (Chartiers Valley) play for the Patriots, so there are some local kids to cheer for in that respect (Rob Gronkowski doesn't count. He's from Buffalo and carpetbagged a season at Woodland Hills) ... Ray Rice seems like a nice kid ... that's really all I have ...
In other words, start pulling for the Giants.
But in the mean time Steelers fans -- Baltimore or New England -- would you rather?
Make your case in the comments section ...