Whither "10 Million Dollar Bill"?

 Play along at home with the new NFL board game, Fuggedabout Carmen Sandiego, Where In The World Will Bill Cowher Go?

Scratch red Ohio and the red-faced Browns. The heck with dark-blue New York and the green-with-envy Jets. Oakland? Mwahhhhhhhahahahah. Though the Raidahs apparently want to talk to everybody else with Pittsburgh ties: failed Steelers offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride, ousted Pitt coach Paul Hackett, and Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh whose daddy Jack used to be a Pitt assistant to Mike Gottfried. 

Let's not even go to Detroit or St. Louis. Please.

No, if there is one suitor left in the 2009 Cahr Sweepstakes, it may well be Denver in light-blue Colorado -- that's three states to the right of northern California, for you geographically impaired. The Broncos' job includes a high-priced, high-profile coaching position along with the possibility of being GM/personnel director himself, if he didn't want to hire one. . . who would mostly do his bidding. Got a franchise quarterback in place. Got a rabid fan base (yeah, but all that orange). All the skiing a body could want, although it would be awful far from the Wofford (S.C.) College where daughter Lindsay is headed to play hoops, but if Colorado U. or Colorado State wanted to recruit her . . . . And owner Pat Bowlen would pay an exorbitant price to land such a name, even if the columnist who said unkind things about The Jaw (likening him to a big, dumb golden retriever before the 1997 AFC championship game) opines that the Broncos need much more than a new man in charge.

Kansas City could intrigue him with its GM opening and the potential to coach there, too. . . . But the best guess remains: Kaye may not let him coach for another year.

[This is from Halloween 2007, and comes replete with North Carolina references -- back when John Fox's Panthers were strugg-uh-ling -- because it was authored by the Raleigh, N.C., News & Observer, but it's still a funny where-will-Bill-go holiday wish just the same:]