The Cash for Clunkers program has ended. Not to worry. A new government program will be starting later this week to further stimulate the economy.
Ladies, pay special attention, because this one could interest you. No, it isn't one for greener appliances. This one is called "Cash for Codgers."
For a limited time, married women can get cash for worn-out, clueless husbands who have been around the block too many times. The criteria are strict. Only those husbands who snore and give off other global warming gases are eligible for the trade-in.
If you get a new model that doesn't have sagging upholstery, the government will give you three or four thousand dollars toward the cost of your reception after your next wedding.
This is a limited offer, so don't delay.