All the news that's fit to be laughed at

I am back to blogging after a wonderful Thanksgiving break. My two kids came back from New York City - which is where many of Pittsburgh's kids go when they grow up - and we shared many amusing moments, not all of them involving eating, although there was a fair bit of that. Critter, my daughter's new husband, was also present, so our family at full strength is now five, not counting the dog, who should be counted because he's more trouble than several people.

While I read the papers, I tried not to think too much about the news but some news intruded. The most interesting was Tiger Woods' encounter with a fire hydrant. Those fire hydrants are not to be trusted. They leap out at you when you least expect it, perhaps fleeing the attention of dogs.

Police and other busybodies have many questions for Tiger but I have only one: Which club is the best choice to bash a SUV in an emergency? I am thinking the Nine Iron but there's an argument for a putter if the fire hydrant is on short grass.

I did return to find an amusing story on the wire. I have always thought that the idea that we must ban gay marriage to save the sanctity of marriage was the most absurd argument in the history of the world, politicians being singularly ill-equipped to be upholders of sanctity (profanity yes, sanctity no). What next? Ladies of the night setting out to save chastity?

Anyway, I read with delight that someone else has taken the crazy marriage-sanctity logic at its word and proposed the next logical step, even if it's just for a laugh. Here's the start of the story ...

 SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) - Til death do us part? The vow would really hold true in California if a Sacramento Web designer gets his way.

In a movement that seems ripped from the pages of Comedy Channel writers, John Marcotte wants to put a measure on the ballot next year to ban divorce in California.

The effort is meant to be a satirical statement after California voters outlawed gay marriage in 2008, largely on the argument that a ban is needed to protect the sanctity of traditional marriage. If that's the case, then Marcotte reasons voters should have no problem banning divorce.

"Since California has decided to protect traditional marriage, I think it would be hypocritical of us not to sacrifice some of our own rights to protect traditional marriage even more," the 38-year-old married father of two said.

Here! here!