Steelers-Browns live blog (sorta)

PREGAME

Pray for us.

For tonight, we mingle with the enemy.

A veritable sleeper cell of terrorists and evildoers living amongst us, under our very nose.

Browns fans.

In Pittsburgh.

Tonight we'll be live blogging from Peter's Pub in Oakland, which we'll refer to tonight as Guantanemo Bay. I have my tetanus shots up to date, and have brought a cattle prod in case any of the Cleveland rabble gets too close. And I say we're "sorta" live blogging because we'll also be filming video for the PG website of this motliest of crews, so we'll only be able to check in periodically. So sit back, settle in, and get ready for the game. And if you don't hear from us by halftime, notify the authorities.   

Oh, and not to scare you, but these are the type of people who will decide this country's next president:

Ohio voters. We're doomed.

• Still here, still alive. The Browns fans are pretty polite and knowledgeable about football. And they are fired up. This has got to be the closest these two teams have matched up in years.The group here is about 50 deep – a light turnout, because about 70 more of the regulars are actually at the game. But they are loud, and they do engage in the requisite dog barking.Big Ben has been booed every time his face has shown up on TV.
• Browns win the coin toss, the Peter’s crowd goes wild. Might  be the only time they smile tonight.

First quarter

• The Browns open up their first primetime game in forever by promptly going 3 and out. Troy was terrific in the first series on a safety blitz and in coverage.
•  Steelers falter in their first drive, after Big Ben is sacked on a 3^rd and 2. The crowd here at Peter’s erupts like Vesuvius.
• Another three and out for the Browns and the F bombs are dropping here like Derek Anderson’s passes to the ground. If I’m not mistaken, he has completed only one to noted idiot and non-soldier Kellen Winslow Jr.. The general consensus here seems to be that Anderson is on a short leash, and the fans want Brady Quinn to start sooner than later. Jamal Lewis is his usual ineffectual self against the Steelers thus far. An errant Steelers fan just made his way upstairs, and our MC for the evening, Robert Cobb of the Browns Backers told him to go back downstairs. Meanwhile, what’s left of Hurricane Ike appears to be stopping by to say hello at the game. Its raining sideways there and should only plod up what is already shaping up as a defensive battle, as the Steelers haven’t shown much on O either.
•  Browns go 3 and out yet again and the Peter’s faithful are about to blow a collective gasket. Some rather unkind utterances about Derek Anderson’s mother being bandied about.
• Steelers miss on a deep route to Willie Parker of all people, then the normally sure-handed Hines Ward lets a third down pass slip through his fingers. Steelers punt.
• The Browns, who, had in four possessions generated only 14 yards of offense get their first first down of the game. Bedlam ensues at Peter’s. But, as they are often want to do, the Browns shoot themselves in the foot – the beginnings of a drive were negated by an offensive pass interference penalty. Two Anderson incompletes later, and the Browns will punt again. Meanwhile Brett Kiesel is down, drawing mock sympathy from the Browns Backers. All’s fair in love and football.
• A graphic on Big Ben’s Ohio roots and domination goes on the screen and the crowd calls him a Traitor. Seriously.
• Quarter ends after a pair of Willie Parker runs for a first down.

 

SECOND QUARTER

• Steelers drive falters, but so does Derek Anderson. No sooner do the Steelers punt that the Browns QB completes a pass to Steelers CB Bryant McFadden. Shaun Rogers, who is positively immense, tries to swallow Willie Parker whole on a run stuff. Porous protection for Big Ben nearly gets him killed on third down, but the drive is extended after a Cleveland facemask. The Cleveland defense had largely been abusing Willie Parker all night, but he runs wild for 15 on a converted 4^th and 1. Steelers on the move.
• Big Ben misses Hines on a middle route at the goal line. Third and nine.
• Big Ben to Hines, take two. Touchdown. Steelers lead 7-0.
• Browns putting together a drive now, three consecutive first downs with a nice run/pass mix. Derek Anderson is finding his mojo on some short routes, and NBC treats us to a rather grotesque close up of Brett Kiesel’s right calf.
• Two minute warning.
• Anderson finds non-soldier Winslow on a 2^nd and 12 over the middle. The Browns call a timeout, eliciting a “huh?” from the crowd here, wondering why they’d want to slow things down when they have the Steelers D on their heels. McFadden gets flagged for a phantom illegal contact play, and the Browns keep rolling.
• We’re not quite sure what happened, but the Browns get flagged for illegal shift, there’s a ten second run off, and with 8 seconds left they get one shot at the endzone, opting not to try a field goal in the heavy winds.
• Polamalu pick. A vector of profanity unleashed here at Peter’s.  Halftime.

   

 

Third Quarter

• Shaun Rogers is absolutely a rampaging rhinoceros. He destroys Justin Hartwig and Kendall Simmons to get to Big Ben and in doing so appears to have injured his own teammate, Robert Smith, setting up a third and 21. Fourteen yards to Heath Miller isn’t enough, and the Steelers punt.
• Non-solider Winslow drops an easy catch hearing the footsteps of James Farrior, who lets him know about it after the play. Winslow, then proceeds not to pay attention to down and distance, coming back on a catch and costing his team a first down. Browns punt, Steelers ball.
• We’d like to point out quickly that while we have been busting on the Browns fans here at Peter’s, they are a fun group of people and very enthusiastic, and if you switched their jerseys, well frankly they’d remind you of yourselves, Stiller fans.
• Big Ben to Santonio on a home run ball. Wow … just … wow. 47-yards in double coverage.
• Steelers falter but Maxim Reed nails a 48-yard field goal into the wind. Steelers lead 10-0.
• Cleveland putting together a solid drive thus far with a few nice Anderson passes, most of them of the hard-to-defend underneath route variety. Jamal Lewis, who has been held to only 30 or so yards , but on this drive has powered for a few short yardage first downs. A roughing the passer penalty on Lamarr Woodley keeps them moving.
• Solider Boy Winslow singlehandedly blows a drive for the Browns. First, he oles James Harrison like a bullfighter, who charges right in to stop Jamal Lewis for a loss on second down, then gets called for illegal motion on 3^rd and 8. Browns settle for a field goal. 10-3 Steelers.
• Rashard Mendenhall turns into Lloyd Christmas momentarily, such is his stupidity on a kickoff return that nearly costs the Steelers dearly. Quarter ends after a 31-yard laser from Big Ben to Hines.

 

FOURTH QUARTER

• Browns hold the Steelers and Shaun Rogers lays all four of his metric tons into Big Ben, on what should have been a flag for a late hit. Steelers punt and James Harrison returns the favor by trying to murder Josh Cribbs on the return. This possession is pretty much the game for Cleveland.
• A quick hitter from Anderson to Jerome Harrison who slashes with some nifty moves for a huge gain. Browns in business.
• Winslow makes a play for a change, with a great grab for a first down on a tipped pass. Nice concentration.
• Browns facing a huge 3^rd and 7. This is the game. Anderson hits Edwards right at the sticks – first down Browns.
• Two runs to Jamal Anderson  for three yards, incomplete to Edwards, and the Browns settle for three. 10-6 Steelers.  The patrons here are miffed that Crennel didn’t go for it, and they have a point, because they still need a TD go ahead. So even if they’d miss, they’d need a touchdown to tie.
• About three and a half minutes left. Steelers start with Willie up the middle for no gain, timeout Browns.
• Ben improvises and checks down like 39 receivers before hitting Heath Miller for 16 yards at midfield. First down and another Browns timeout. You can see that “not again” look of sickness creeping across the Browns fans faces here at Peter’s. Rob Cobb informs me that the Crennel watch has started.
• That NFL merchandise commercial with the all-Steelers living room is met with a chorus of boos here.
• The Browns forget that the sports is tackle football, not two-hand touch, and  Willie gains about 20 and that is your ballgame. No timeouts left for the Browns. Steelers make it 10 straight against the Browns and take the all-time lead in regular season meetings between the two teams, 56-55. Credit to the Browns for a hard fought game, but the Steelers persevere in the slugfest and sit atop the AFC North. To be continued in December …

FINAL SCORE STEELERS 10 BROWNS 6