This just in: Pirates Welcome G-20.
The Pittsburgh Pirates announce special promotions for their Sept. 24-25 games, which coincide with the city hosting the G-20 summit.
To mark "Star Moments in Economics," the Pirates will wear throwback uniforms from 1929, the year the stock markets crashed, touching off the Great Depression.
Thursday, Sept. 24, is Protester Appreciation Day. A pregame parade of placards begins at noon (all signs must be in good taste and must refrain from criticizing the Pirates); assemble on the Downtown side of the Clemente Bridge. Postgame concert by the folk band Brother Can You Spare a Dime.
Friday, Sept. 25, is International Tryout Night. Pirates seek ballplayers from around the world to add to their stable of global talent, which includes prospects from India and Africa. No prior baseball experience is necessary. Report to the Left Field Gate. Left-handed relief pitchers, go to the head of the line.
The Pierogi Races will be replaced by a Cash for Clunkers Demolition Derby on Thursday and Dancing with the Economists on Friday.